Falling Tears
by SilentMorning'sVoice
Summary: Slowly he lifted the dagger with a shaking arm and held it above her heart. “I’m sorry Hermione Granger.” Then something caught his eye, something that made him remember his promise…7 years ago…
1. The Memory

Falling Tears

Chapter 1

The Memory

"Kill her Draco! Kill her now!" A cold voice echoed off the walls and through Draco Malfoy's head. The blonde Slytherin nodded and grasped the dagger tighter within his hand. "Draco…Please…" a small voice suddenly broke the silence. Draco turned his head to face the girl he was about to kill. Her brown eyes were pleading him, and it wrenched his heart out. Slowly he lifted the dagger with a shaking arm and held it above her heart. "I'm sorry Hermione Granger." He said quietly then raised his arm and made ready to strike, but before he could, something caught his eye, something that made him remember his promise…7 years ago…

… (Flashback)...

"DRACO!" a young eight year old girl called out to him. He turned and smiled, "Hey Mione!" He answered with a cheerful smile. Hermione smiled back and ran over to him, her ginger curls bouncing all over the place.

"Do you think I can come over to your house Dray?" she asked out of breath. Draco nodded, "Yeah come on!"

They raced each other to the house and darted up the stairs to his bedroom. The door burst open and they jumped inside.

"I WIN!" Hermione squealed triumphantly.

Draco frowned, "You always win."

She lifted her chin proudly, "Why of course, I'm Hermione Granger!"

Draco shook his head and crossed his arms, "So? That doesn't mean you always get to win!"

Hermione grinned and poked him playfully on the arm, "You're just being a sorry loser, Mr. Sulky Pants!"

He shoved her hand away roughly, "Cut that out Mione!"

She huffed, "Well I think it's time for some tickle torture for you, Little Mister!"

His head suddenly shot up and he looked at her with wide and alarmed eyes. He backed away slightly, "No! Don't even think about it Mione!"

Hermione smiled, tackled him on the floor and began tickling him mercilessly. Draco rolled all about kicking his legs uncontrollably while laughing senseless. "Ok! Ok! Please STOP!" he pleaded between peels of laughter, "MIONE STOP!" He squealed.

She nodded, "Alright, Alright, I think you've had enough." Then she abruptly stopped and he stood up unsteadily while trying to control his breathing. Hermione stood beside him and followed as he stumbled towards his bed. He plopped down onto it and looked up at her, "Here, sit down!"

Hermione nodded, "Thanks!"

Draco patted the spot beside him, "Sit next to me."

She smiled and took the seat. He looked over at her and noticed how suddenly sad she looked. "What's wrong?" he asked sweetly.

Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, "I don't want to leave you Dray!" Then she threw her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.

Young Draco hugged her close and smiled, "I know."

Hermione's sobs grew steadier and she took in a shaky breath, "Why do we have to be separated? Why do I have to move?"

He shrugged, "I don't know Mione, but…no matter what happens you'll always be my bestest friend!"

"Promise?" she asked wiping away her tears.

Draco nodded, "Promise."

Hermione swallowed and looked up at him, her eyes still containing a little doubt. "Forever?"

He smiled, "Yes, forever!"

Then she leaned her head on his shoulder, "What if you forget about me?"

Draco shook his head, "Never, Mione, Never!"

He paused a minute, and then his eyes brightened, "Hang on!" He got up and walked over to his desk. Then he opened a small box and pulled out a silver piece of jewelry.

"This is for you Hermy." Draco took her hand in his and placed it in her palm.

Hermione's eyes widened in wonder as she glanced down at it. What Draco had given her was a silver little charm bracelet. Dangling from it was an emerald dragon and a golden heart. Engraved on the heart was a beautifully crafted, "M".

She sighed, "It's so pretty Draco!"

He smiled, "I'm glad you like it!"

Hermione looked up at him and cocked her head to the side, "Why are you giving it to me?"

Draco touched her hand softly and held it, "So that whenever you look at it, you'll think of me!" he looked down at the bracelet, "Promise you'll never take it off?"

Her eyes began to moisten as she slipped it onto her delicate wrist, "I won't ever take it off, I Promise."

He grinned and gave her the biggest hug he possibly could. When he pulled away he noticed that she was frowning.

"What?" he asked with confusion.

"I…have nothing to give you!" she said frantically.

He shrugged, "Oh it's alright, I'll be thinking of you anyway.

Then Hermione suddenly looked up at him blushing as an idea came to her. "Well…I could give you a…" she paused and thought about it a moment.

He caught her gaze, "What'd you mean Mione?"

She smiled shyly and stood up moving closer to his face.

Draco suddenly felt uncomfortable as an odd feeling filled him. He looked around nervously and then back to her. Her face was gradually moving closer to his, and then… she kissed him, a quick peck on the lips, his first kiss.

It made him lightheaded and his heart started to beat widely. He looked down at her still trying to clear his head. Her blush deepened and she ran out of the room.

Draco watched her go as a huge smile began to spread across his pale face, "I will never forget."…

… (End Flashback)…

Draco's eyes widened in horror as he saw the bracelet dangling form her wrist and he staggered back dropping the dagger letting it clash against the cold surface below him. "No…" he whimpered shakily as he slowly kept backing away.

His father walked up behind him and gripped his shoulder firmly. "What are you doing Draco?" he hissed in his son's ear, "Kill her now!"

Draco looked up into his father's cold gray eyes which seemed to have mirrored his own, only a few minutes ago.

Slowly he shook his head and turned to walk away. "I…I, can't!" he gasped.

Lucias' face twisted in anger and rage, "YOU ARE WEAK!"

Draco suddenly stopped and turned to face his father's sneering face. "Please father, I just need some more time." He asked pleadingly.

Lucias' expression softened slightly as he approached Draco. He picked up the dagger and placed it in his son's hand.

"You have three days!" Draco nodded and his father continued, "If you aren't ready by then I will do it myself." Draco nodded again slowly, "I understand father."

Lucias then embraced him, "Don't disappoint me."

"I won't father". Draco answered definitely.

Then Hermione watched as both father and son left her, closing the dungeon door behind them. A tear escaped from her eye and fell to the stone floor. Her heart was beating heavier in her chest, and she looked over at the bracelet, which was shining brilliantly in the moonlight. The "M" still engraved the heart, and her eyes filled with more tears as she remembered that day when it was given to her, so long ago…

Why was she still wearing it? She thought. Although her heart knew the answer, she was trying desperately to ignore it. "You're evil Draco Malfoy, pure evil." She whispered into the darkness. Then she bent her head and looked out the tiny window, "but then, why do I still love you?"


	2. A Haunting Dream

Falling Tears

Chapter II

A Haunting Dream

That night in his bed, Draco Malfoy lay staring out his window at the pale moon, the gentle rays glowing down onto his smooth skin. The cool breeze blowing through gently played at his golden hair.

Many thoughts were running through his mind concerning what had happened only moments earlier. '_Why did I have to hesitate?_' he thought, _'Why couldn't I have just killed her?'_ Sighing inwardly he remembered that bracelet, why had she still been wearing it? She hated him right? He had expected her to have taken it off by now. In fact he had completely forgotten he'd given it to her. All they did at Hogwarts all these years was fight. Was it even possible she still cared about him?

Draco didn't know why, but seeing that she still wore his bracelet made him feel wordless happiness, but also sadness. His heart ached and he felt more guilt then he ever imagined possible.

He swallowed hard at a lump forming in his throat when he thought of that look she had in her eyes as he raised the dagger ready to kill her. He remembered all the tears streaming down her beautiful face, as he heard her say his name, "Draco…please…." His first name, a thing she rarely said.

Draco tried to shake the memory out of his mind but he couldn't. The image remained permanently engraved not only there, but also on his heart. He began to have images from his past, ones where he and her were playing together, laughing together, and then…the kiss she gave him suddenly flashed past.

He winced and squeezed his eyes closed trying to block it out. Every memory, every image of her brought unbearable pain that weighed down the feeling of guilt on his soul.

Turning on his side he stared at the picture that stood on the table next to his bed. It was of his father wearing the same fake smile on his face that he always used.

Draco's eyes stared into those of his father and saw his own reflection within their cold emptiness. It made him feel worse, thinking about being like him. A mirrored replica of the very thing he hated. He didn't want to grow up to be his father, but he knew that's where he was heading. Hatred, fear, and an empty heart, that was all his father was.

"You're the reason I became this way." He said quietly, "Why did you do this to me?"

He closed his eyes slowly, hoping that he could be relieved by the comfort of sleep. It took some time to finally shake off all the mixed emotions running through his mind but he was granted it. However, he didn't find relief, as he had a haunting dream.

… _(Dream) … _

Draco saw himself walking down to the dungeons holding in his hand the dagger. He pushed the door open and looked down at the figure lying on the ground. She slowly raised her head and he saw that it was Hermione. She looked up at him with pleading and innocent eyes as he walked over to her with the dagger hidden behind his back.

Hermione got up and walked over to him, "I love you." He heard her softly whisper. He nodded his head, "I love you to Hermione Granger." Stroking her face gently with one hand while, clenching the hidden object tighter in the other.

He continued to stroke her on the cheek softly while speaking many comforting inaudible words and gazing at her through soft warm eyes. He saw her smile and wrap her arms around him trustingly, and he began to tremble. The hand behind his back seemed to be deciding whether to drop the weapon or raise it to the girl clinging onto him.

Suddenly his eyes grew colder and narrowed, fear and hatred taking over them. His face morphed into that of his fathers and he raised the weapon behind him, bringing it out of hiding. "It's time Granger." He, his father, hissed fiercely.

Hermione backed away, "No Draco! Stop! Don't listen to your father, don't let him consume you! Don't be afraid, please listen to me…I love you!"

Draco, as his father, however, continued moving towards her ready to strike. "Where's the Draco I used to know? Is this what you've become? You're father? You've become just like him!" Hermione continued. Something flashed through Draco's eyes, regret, but fear was still clearly present and he threw the weapon into her heart.

His face changed back instantly and his eyes widened once he realized what he had done. "NO!" he screamed, "NO!" He ran over to her and knelt down beside her dying figure. She reached out a weak and shaking hand holding the bracelet in a fragile grasp. He grabbed it and heard he whisper almost indistinctly, "Th-this could have saved y-you…" He took it from her, tears forming in his eyes.

Then he looked around frantically at the darkness surrounding him. He was consumed by it and his eyes closed, "What have I done?" he whispered as he fell to the ground.

… _(End of Dream) … _

Draco screamed and his eyes shot open. Sweat was pouring from his forehead and covered his entire body. Sitting up slowly he blinked several times and tried to calm his rapid breathing. "It was only a dream." He gasped.

A sudden memory flashed through his mind of him handing the bracelet to Hermione. He shook his head and, unable to handle anymore, threw off his covers and climbed out of bed. He grabbed a candle and quickly left the room seeking a place where he could clear his mind and think.

'_I hate her'_ he thought as he walked unaware of where he was heading, '_She is the foulest thing on this earth, a Mublood.' _He sighed, '_She's only a Mudblood.' _


	3. Carrying the Weight of Guilt

Falling Tears

Chapter III

Carrying the Weight of Guilt

"_I'll never forget you Mione, I promise." _His own words came flashing back to his mind. Draco winced and hastened his pace. His platinum hair was bouncing wildly and the flame on the candle flickered dangerously close to his face.

His feet seemed to be guiding him and by the time he realized what he was doing, he was already at the dungeon door. Draco paused a moment and looked behind him at the dark stairway he had just come down, and then looked at the door in front of him. The candlelight emitted off his face showing off his bewildered features. _'How did I end up here?' _he thought.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of unease before unlocking and opening the heavy brazen door. He timidly stepped inside and set the candle down on a small shelf beside him.

Draco stared down at his feet uncertainly, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to see Hermione's face after what had happened. He slowly lifted them and looked in her direction guardedly.

She was in a sitting position with her back up against the wall, sleeping. He released a sigh, thankful that she was asleep, and then walked over to her.

He stopped inches from her figure, looking down at her vacantly then slowly knelt down on one knee in front of her. His eyes scanned her face then wandered down to her chained hands and at the bracelet on her wrist.

To him it was heart wrenching as it hung there dangling freely and innocently, as a sign of a promise he had made but broken. He swallowed and looked up at her.

Her soft skin was flushed within the pale light of the moon and her auburn hair was highlighted by the gentle rays. His heart started to pound faster inside his chest as he looked down and started to dangle the tiny heart pendent between his fingers. He suddenly caught his breath as he saw the engraved _'M', _and traced his fingers along the outline.

He looked up at her face again, sighing. She had never really done him any great harm; he was the one who had caused her pain and really betrayed her by calling her _Mudblood _the foulest thing you could possibly call someone like her. _'Like her.' _He thought. '_What is so bad about her?' _ He didn't even really know why he hated someone he had once loved.

It was only because of his father that he treated her the way he did. It was because of his father that Hermione and he had to be separated in the first place. Lucias Malfoy had threatened her family once he found out that Draco's mother was allowing Hermione to be friends with his son. After that, Draco became consumed by all the lies and false teachings his father believed in.

Shuddering he thought of what kind of person he must be to her. He must seem like a coldhearted, senseless, git, who had taken her away from everything and everyone she loved.

'_What's so different about you Mudbloods anyway?' _he thought, _'Your people, who feel everything we feel. Pain, fear, sadness, and…love.' _He slowly reached his hand out and stroked her soft cheek, "I really am sorry about this Mione." He whispered soothingly.

'_Mione'_, that that name sounded so foreign to him, but yet so familiar. It brought with it a stinging pain as he remembered all the times he used it in his past.

As the minutes pressed on, Draco continued to stroke her cheek, slightly unaware to what he was doing. Then suddenly his hand shot back and he stood up quickly as her eyes fluttered open. She looked up at him and he saw a sudden wave of fear flash through her eyes. That was soon replaced, however, with resentment and loathing. "Malfoy." She hissed with a strong voice that bore a slight tremble.

Draco hated to be talked to that way and his Slytherin pride started to take over, sneering he said, "Watch you're tongue Mudblood." And just as soon as he had said it he wished he hadn't when he saw the hurt pass over her eyes, "Malfoy…" she began quietly, "Please…please go away and leave me alone."

"You can't order me to leave my own dungeons!" he said hotheadedly, once again carried away with himself.

She shook her head with a cheerless smirk on her face, "Will you ever get over yourself?" she said emotionlessly, "Will you ever learn?"

He looked down at her, his face flushed with anger, "You watch what you say to me, seeing as how I could kill you at any moment." Then he turned and started walking towards the door not wanting to talk to her any further.

"Malfoy…" she started calmly.

He halted as her voice called out to him, "What?" he asked aggravated.

"Why didn't you?" she asked.

He turned and looked at her blankly, "What?"

She looked up into his piercing eyes, "Why didn't you kill me?"

Draco gazed at her wordlessly unsure of what to say, but the guilt began to build up inside him once again, and all his anger vanished. He couldn't respond to her, the question brought pain and it started to spread through him. He shook his head slowly and whispered weakly, "Don't ask me that."

He turned and quickly left, locking the door securely behind him. He stuck the keys inside his pocket and then turned and leaned the back of his head against the door, looking up at the dark ceiling. The pain throughout him hurt more than even the cruciatus curse.

He squeezed his eyes shut, '_Why didn't you?'_ her words rang through his mind, "Hermione…please…" he whispered agonizingly, "…stop causing me all this pain."


	4. Scars from the Past

Falling Tears

Chapter IV

Carrying the Scars of the Past

After his visit to the dungeons and encounter with Hermione Granger, Draco walked into one of the many lounges located vastly throughout the Manor. He sat in one of the leather covered armchairs with his hands folded out in front of him.

He stared emotionlessly into the hearth, where a fire was roaring and crackling fiercely. The flickering light flashed across his face and the auburn flames danced in his eyes, which held so much guilt and heartache within their abyss.

Draco swallowed and winced as he thought of Hermione sitting against the dungeon wall, all alone in that cold, dark, foul place, without any hope of being set free. She didn't have anyone there for her, no one to love her.

He closed his eyes; nothing he did seemed to numb the intense pain that was constantly present within him. It felt like a thousand arrows all piercing his heart at once. But more than anything, what hurt him most was the strong feeling that he was becoming his father. It was almost unnoticeable and Draco had always been trying to hide the horrid truth from himself as well as others.

However, he knew that he was already heading down that road. He had seen it in Hermione's eyes, they held an exact reflection of his own. She looked at him the way he looked at his father.

In both hers and his were traces of abandonment, broken trust, betrayal, and countless painful memories.

Draco shook his head. He had caused these things to be present in her. He had hurt her, and betrayed her trust.

She had loved him, but he returned that with disregard and ridicule.

He would never forget the look that passed in her once lively eyes when he first looked at her in disgust and loathing. It was the time when he first called her that foul name, _Mudblood. _

She had hidden well from her friends and all the others around her, the truth that it had sunk in and hurt. But, she couldn't hide it from him. She hadn't been the same since.

Draco, sighing, looked down at his hands as a tear, glistened by the flames emitting off his unblemished face, slid down his cheek like a drop of rain running down a smooth pane of glass. He had hurt Hermione and it changed her, just as his father had done, changing him.

He knew how much everything his father did hurt unbearably, and now here he was doing the same thing to Hermione, who was one of the few people who had really loved him.

He was becoming more like his father than he had thought. Pushing away Hermione's love and replacing that with hate all because of what he had been taught. Likewise, his father Lucius pushed his son's and wife's love away, solely based on the teachings of his master, Lord Voldemort.

Wincing, Draco thought back to that memory, which had brought him the most unimaginable pain he had ever had to endure, both physically and emotionally. It had made him feel, for the first time, the true reality of rejection…

… _(Flashback…8 years ago…) …_

"Please Father! Please don't leave again! Please!" 7 year old Draco Malfoy frantically pleaded.

Lucius, however, only shoved past his son and continued his way to the door. Draco, his face full of distress, chased after him and started tugging on his father's coat, "Father, please…don't go." His young voice was frantic and insistent.

Lucius' face was bitter with rage and he turned to Draco and slapped his hands away. Draco stopped and looked down at his hands that were beginning to swell, and his throat began tightening up. His bottom lip began to quiver and he looked up at Lucius trying to hold back the tears that attempted to seep out of his eyes.

"Father…" he begged, "If you go to that bad place, you'll kill people." His voice trembled and he stood staring up at his father threw blurred eyes.

"KEEP YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE MOUTH SHUT DRACO!" Lucius yelled in uttermost fury, "AND KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF ME!"

A tear trickled down Draco's face young face and he swallowed painfully, "Daddy…I…" He started to say but then suddenly received a slap across the face that sent him sprawling on the floor. He let out a painful cry and Lucius glared down at him in smite.

"Don't you EVER call me daddy again! YOU HEAR ME? You know better than that you useless excuse for a son!" He tried to control his breathing but his voice still held a slight sneer, "Now…what was it you were going to say? Come on SPIT IT OUT!"

Draco stopped caressing his face for a moment and looked up at his father, "I…" he paused and choked back a sob.

"WHAT IS IT DRACO?" Lucius insisted fiercely.

"I…love...I l-love you, Dad." Came his small innocent voice threw a tear swelling throat.

That did it for Lucius Malfoy and he laughed scornfully making Draco flinch. "Love Huh?" Then he grabbed the collar of Draco's shirt and jerked him up of his feet.

"Love is a weakness; those who feel it only feel pain. You will always lose the ones you love." He snarled.

Draco looked into his father's cold grey eyes and felt, for the first time, afraid of this man.

Lucius saw this and smirked scornfully, "Love will never get you anywhere."

Draco looked down at the floor beneath him where his feet dangled, "Well, I can't help it, I do love you dad." Then he looked up at his father, "Don't…don't you love me to?"

But, this was obviously too much for the older Malfoy, and losing all control of himself, he threw his son towards the stairs behind them.

Draco hit the floor with a loud crash then tumbled down the staircase, hitting ever inch of his tiny body as he did so. When he finally reached the bottom, neither a cry nor a scream left his bleeding mouth, only the silent tears that now flowed freely down his bruised face in hot streams which stung at the cuts.

"Y-you…don't l-love me anymore d-dad…" he whispered in a quivering voice.

The physical pain coursing mercilessly throughout his body was slightly numbed in contrast to the sudden realization and excruciating truth that he had never had his father's love. That his dad hadn't ever cared for him at all, and his reasoning was that he had failed him.

Whimpering, Draco slowly lifted his head and looked up at his father, who was standing at the top of the staircase fuming. "What did I do?" he asked in almost a whisper, but loud enough for his dad to hear.

Suddenly footsteps could be heard entering the hall and Narcissa Malfoy came rushing in, her face containing alarm and unease. She halted when she saw Lucius slowly descending the stairs, then looked down at Draco, her eyes widening and let out a terrifying scream, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

"What I felt I must." Lucius answered.

Narcissa looked from him to Draco, who was by now lying in pool of his own blood. "How could you do this?" she continued through tears, "HE IS ONLY A CHILD!"

Lucius' eyes narrowed and he pointed his wand at her, "SHUTUP! STUPID WOMAN! THE ONLY REASON I MARRIED YOU WAS TO GET AN HEIR!" he looked down at Draco in disgust, "AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU GAVE ME! THIS DISGRACE!"

Narcissa looked at her husband, her mouth hung wide in shock and hurt as the room grew silent. "Lucius…" she started softly, "I…Loved you."

He shook his head, "Stop gaping at me, and live your miserable life." Then he stormed out of the room and into the stormy cold night outside.

Narcissa watched him go, tears streaming down her beautiful face. Then she looked down at Draco and knelt beside him. She tried to help him to his feet, but to no avail as he collapsed right away. She noticed that most of the blood was flowing from his back where a large gash was revealed, affecting his ability to stand.

Closing her eyes, Narcissa sighed and Draco clenched his teeth as the pain in his back began to take hold. She took him in her arms and cradled him lovingly. "I will take you to St. Mungos hospital, they will heal you."

… _(End Flashback) … _

Draco, still staring into the fire, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to rid the memory from further haunting his mind.

He sat up against the seat while leaning his head back against it. His breathing was heavier and the sweat poured down from his forehead as the flames of the fire glimmered across his bare chest, being exposed by his half unbuttoned shirt.

His golden hair clung to his face and he had to close his stinging eyes that threatened to shed tears.

His back started to ache, as it always did whenever he thought back to that memory, and he gritted his teeth as he felt the familiar seething burn running down his spine. There was a permanent scar that ran across the lower portion of his back as an eternal remembrance of the betrayed love he thought know one else could ever compare to.

How wrong he was though, as he felt he had done the same thing to Hermione without even thinking about it.

He opened his eyes, which glistened with unshed tears, and looked into the unabashed fire, as he thought of her, "Hermione…" he started in a parched whisper, "Why does this hurt so much?" he swallowed and looked down at his hands, "Do I still love you?" his eyes wavered slightly, "Do you still love me?"


	5. Afraid To Love

Falling Tears

Chapter V

Afraid To Love

The first frost had settled outside, and the grass had been covered with a thick blanket of snow. Ice covered the ponds, and all the trees were only twigs and branches.

The lounge where Draco had fallen asleep, had grown bitterly cold overnight, and the burning flames had turned to ashes, leaving the scent of smoke lingering in the air.

Draco, still sitting in the chair he had occupied last night, shivered and shifted slightly in his sleep. His eyes were closed serenely, and his silky blonde hair had fallen over them.

At each exhale his chest heaved up and down, and every now and then his hand would twitch slightly.

He had finally been granted a dreamless sleep in which no worries, no reality, no sorrow haunts you. His face bore a calm appearance, but you could tell by the uneasiness of his breathing that many things were troubling him. When you're alone and feel like holding onto something, you can never hide from the feeling. It's always there until you find the cure.

It was relieving to finally be allowed to sleep, and it was soothing to Draco. However, his peaceful reverie of sleep was ended as he felt a firm, almost painful, grip of a hand on his shoulder. His eyes shot open as he gasped and jumped slightly in his seat. He looked behind him, "Get up." The figure snapped rudely. Draco quickly got to his feet.

"Father." He said weakly as a wave of fear swept through him, "What are you doing here?"

Lucius eyed his son emotionlessly then brought an object out from behind his back. Draco's eyes widened when he saw it.

"I found this in the dungeon early this morning." Lucius said coolly.

Draco swallowed worriedly; it was the candle he had brought when he went to see Hermione.

Lucius noticed his sons suddenly alarmed expression and glared, "What were you doing down there Draco?"

Draco looked up fearfully, his heart pounding in his ears, then looked down at his feet. His voice shook slightly, "I-I don't know…"

"What? I can't hear you Draco! Speak Up!" Lucius ordered, his voice was quickly rising.

"Nothing, Father. I wasn't doing anything." Draco answered as politely as he could.

Lucius threw the candle at his son, the silver holder hitting him in the chest.

Draco winced as he felt the impact but didn't move or scream, he could feel a bruise starting to form.

"Don't LIE TO ME DRACO!" Lucius shouted.

Draco looked up at his father, "Why?" he whispered slowly.

Lucius stepped forward, "What was that?"

Draco shook his head, tears forming in his eyes, "Why not lie to you? After all the times you've lied to me?"

Lucius quickly rushed forward and grabbed the collar of Draco's shirt, "You're only a boy." He hissed, "A boy with no right to disrespect his father in such a way."

Draco squeezed his eyes, "Father," he whispered uneasily, "Please…don't hurt me."

Lucius' eyes formed a harsh glare, "You're a coward Draco, and you've always been a coward. You couldn't even kill that Mudblood filth when I asked you to!"

Draco looked down at his feet and it reminded him of that time eight years ago, when his father was holding him the same way, and speaking harsh words to him. The words he had said flashed through Draco's mind, _"Love is a weakness; those who feel it only feel pain. You will always lose the ones you love." _

"Why do I have to kill her father?" he asked timidly then looked up into Lucius' cold eyes, "Why does it have to be me? Couldn't you just do it?"

Lucius looked down at his son in despise, "You have to be the one to do it; you have to prove that your not weak." Then he let go of Draco's shirt, giving him a slight shove as he did. "The Dark Lord wishes for your services. I disagreed at first because fifteen is such a young age, but then I soon realized that if you could only let go of all this cowardice you hold inside, you would be a good servant to his Lordship."

Draco's eyes widened in terror and he backed away slowly, "No…I…I won't join him."

Lucius' face contorted in rage, "You will join, I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter." He closed his eyes and calmed his breathing, ""I understand you're afraid, you always have been." Then he looked at Draco, his head raised high. "But you will conquer that! You will be great among those who are loyal."

Draco turned his face away from his fathers gaze, "I can't do it Father." Then he looked up into his father's hateful stare, "You know I can't."

Lucius shook his head, "Nonsense boy, of course you can. You are a Malfoy Draco."

Draco nodded, "I know but…" he paused and choked back a sob, "I just don't think I can become a killer father."

Lucius' eyes narrowed in anger, "You will kill that Mudblood Draco, and you will do it soon. Three days that's all you have."

Draco nodded reluctantly and sighed shakily, "I know, it's just…"

"It's just what?" Lucius interrupted. "Tell me Draco, how come you're always telling me how much you hate her, but are so against killing the filthy girl?"

Draco shook his head, "I don't know father." He paused trying to choose his words carefully, and fearing his father's anger, he replied slowly, "Well…there is a…difference between hating someone and actually…killing them." He trembled slightly, "I've always wanted to do it at school, but when I actually had the chance I…" his voice trailed off and Lucius looked at him fiercely.

"You're not telling me you pity her are you?" his voice lowered a bit, "You…don't love her do you?"

Draco's hear jumped, did he love her? The word_ love _had become so foreign to him. He had already seen what love did when his father betrayed it. His mother loved him, but she never showed it. Never since that day when his father had, not only betrayed him, but also his own wife. Draco was afraid to love.

"I do not love her father." Came his shaky answer.

"You pity her then?" Lucius asked harshly.

Draco shrugged, "How can I not?"

"Pity is a weakness Draco." Lucius hissed.

Draco shook his head, "It's a weakness as well? Is everything I feel a weakness?"

Lucius glared, "Yes Draco. Because you _are_ weak."

Draco's mouth parted slightly, "I am not weak father." He whispered. However, doubting his own words.

Lucius shook his head, "Get out of here Draco. Just get out."

Draco started to back away slowly and Lucius' eyes narrowed, "I SAID GET OUT. GET OUT OF HERE NOW!"

Draco flinched in fear then turned and quickly ran out of the room. He ran down the many halls and passageways of the Manor until he reached the front door. He pushed it open and stepped outside breathing heavily. A chilling wind greeted him along with the snow that stuck to the tears running down his pale face.

Then he continued to run, the snow crunching beneath his feet until his breath failed him, and he had to stop to catch it, while trembling against the cold.

He kicked up the snow violently with his shoe, cursing and screaming as he did. The words his father said still rang in his ears, _'You are_ _Weak.' _

Soon his exhaustion took hold and he collapsed down on his knees crying and holding himself as he shivered. The gentle silence did nothing to caress or soothe his pain, but gave him a stronger feeling of a lonely emptiness.

"What do I do?" he whimpered. He had no desire to join Voldemort, everything inside him was screaming against it. "I don't know what to do."

He buried his tear-stained face in his hands, his body trembled as he sobbed, "Why is this happening to me?" he wanted to help Hermione with every desire of his heart.

Something was missing in his life, something that not everyone can just achieve with ease.

He didn't have anyone's love, and no one had his love. He knew he was afraid. Afraid of many things, pain, rejection, humiliation, even his own bloody father, but, what he feared most was love.

Afraid to love, Afraid to accept anyone else's love. All it had ever brought him was pain. When he saw that bracelet on Hermione's wrist it was completely unbearable.

"Why are you still wearing it Mione?" Draco questioned, "Why did you keep your promise when I did not?" It bothered him that he didn't know, he wished he did, but the only possible reason was the one he hoped wasn't true. She loved him.

"Why would you love me? What have I ever done for you?" he whispered.

He lifted his face from his hands and looked up at the grey sky, the snow falling upon his lashes and golden hair. He sighed and whispered to the quiet emblem that only December brought, "I wish I could love you, I wish I could be strong and take you away from this place, it's just….I'm so afraid."

He closed his eyes, "I'm so afraid I'll get hurt again."

He shook his head, "I'm so afraid I'll hurt you again."


	6. The Evanescence of Love

Falling Tears

Chapter IV

The Evanescence of Love

Draco's eyes shot open to meet, yet still, the swirling snow falling in front his face. He slowly sat up and rubbed his weary eyes. His hands felt numb and stiff, and he was covered in a thin mantle of white.

He stood warily and winced at the chilling sting that ran through his body. Had he really fallen asleep out there? He thought this idly without really caring or grasping the full reality of his surroundings.

He dusted the snow off his clothes and shook it out of his hair. Watching it fall it reminded him of himself. He, too, was falling. Cold, and unaided, bearing the sadness of his own misery.

"If only," he thought as he walked inside the Manor, "There was someone who could be here to catch me."

The entrance hall was dimly lit, and there was no sound to greet his ears. As always no one was there to embrace him anymore. Sighing he continued the walk up to his bed chamber.

His legs felt as if they would give way beneath him as he walked up the six-story staircase. He grasped the railing for support, leaning his weight against it.

When he finally reached his room he collapsed onto his bed and closed his eyes feeling the warmth that was beginning to course through him. It was amazing in contrast to the bitter cold night outside.

Turing on his side he faced the picture of his father again, as another memory filled his mind. This one, however, was quite different from the preceding one of his father. It was back to the time when he had first met Hermione, thus beginning their once extraordinary friendship.

He closed his eyes as a slight smile formed on his lips. He remembered that feeling of finding a new friend, and how his heart had sped up when she first took his hand. It was soothing, but very heartbreaking. How did they allow themselves to become so distant from one another? Why had their lives been filled with so much hatred and sorrow?

Remembering that day it made him wish he could go back. Go back for just one day, and feel that again.

… _(Flashback…9 years ago…) …_

_The sky was grey and cloudy, and the weather hinted of an upcoming storm. _

_Young Draco Malfoy walked along the beach holding his mother's protective hand. His face held a delighted smile as he felt the warm sand between his toes, and the tide that would wash up every so often and cool his feet to his ankles._

_Roaring waves were the only sound to be heard, along with the occasional call of the seagull. Tropical winds billowed through his hair at an incredible, but soothing, rate and the smell of coconut mixed with the scent of the sea lingered upon the air._

"_Mother," Draco started sweetly, "May we come to this place every day?" _

_Narcissa Malfoy shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry Draco, but we can't some here often. This is a Muggle area and your father would be very angry if he found out we were coming here." She smiled and felt the cool breeze coursing through her, "I think that it will be okay just this once."_

_Draco looked down at his feet, "Oh." Slight worry was etched on his face, and traces of disappointment._

_His mother squeezed his tiny hand reassuringly, "its okay, one day. He will understand."_

_Draco shrugged, "Maybe." _

_Then presently the sound of laughter reached their ears. They turned and looked down towards the south side of the beach, where a young couple were walking hand-in-hand. A few feet in front of them was a little girl no older than Draco's age._

_She was busily grabbing all the seashells that she could find and sticking them into a tiny bag slung over her shoulder. This girl had long, thick, ginger-colored hair with many loose curls. _

_Draco's small heart began to beat harder in his chest as he watched her. He didn't know why, but he felt all warm inside, and his knees started to feel weak and shaky. What was this new feeling? It made him slightly light-headed and he couldn't take his eyes off her. What do you call this? He didn't know. He had never felt this way before._

"_Who is she mother?" he asked, his voice awe-struck._

_Narcissa shook her head, "I don't know Draco, some Muggle by the looks of it." She looked down at her son curiously and saw the tiny twinkle in his eyes and how his mouth was slightly parted. _

_She smiled and let go of his hand, "Why don't you go find out?" _

_Draco looked up at her fearfully, "I-I can't," came his tiny voice, "I can't talk to her."_

_Narcissa laughed softly. "It's alright," she said in her sweet voice, "go on Sweetheart, find out who she is." _

_She nudged Draco forward gently, and sighing Draco walked over to the girl, his little feet padding against the sand. _

_He stopped and looked down at her figure, who was hurriedly picking the best shells. The girl stopped when she saw his shadow hovering over her and quickly stood to face him. _

"_Who are you?" she asked eagerly._

_Draco only stared at her through a pair of wide eyes. _

_A smile formed on her lips as she eyed him, and her heart beat increased ever-so slightly. This boy was beautiful with the wind coursing through his platinum hair and his blue-grey eyes matching the stormy ocean. She slowly reached out a trembling hand, "I'm Hermione Granger."_

_A tiny smile came across Draco's face and he put his hand in hers, shaking it slowly. They both flushed. "I'm Draco Malfoy." He said._

_They both gazed into each others eyes, neither knowing what this new feeling was, or where it had come from. And neither wanting to turn away or let go of the others hand. _

… _(end flashback) …_

A slight smile formed on Draco's lips and he turned on his back, gazing up at the ceiling. That feeling he had felt must have been love. He had fallen for Hermione that day on the beach, and even at such a young age the feeling of love was so much stronger and clearer than it was to him now.

Back then he actually trusted people enough to love them. He wondered if he could ever get that back. All the things he would give to just feel that again.

But now he was just shattered and broken. Too many things had torn at his heart, who was there to piece him back together?

However, there was one thing he couldn't understand. Hermione had gone through all that heartbreak and pain he had caused her, and yet she didn't seem broken and torn. She still loved all immensely. Though, he could see it in her eyes at times, whenever she looked at him, or whenever he would insult or ridicule her. Was it possible she still loved him?

"No," he whispered to himself, "It was evanescent."

Then sighing, he slowly stood up and walked outside onto his balcony. The cool midnight wind soothed him and he stared out at the gentle moon, the stars reflecting in his eyes.

He let out a long exhale of breath, and ran a hand through his smooth hair. It fell back over his eyes and shifted slightly in the breeze. It was relaxing to be out in the still night. Just something about it made Draco feel a little like his old self again.

It cleared his head, and ebbed away some of the guilt that constantly weighed on his soul.

However, he felt very alone at these times, and only wished for someone to walk into his life and save him, before it was too late and became consumed by his emptiness as his father had.

Closing his eyes, he allowed all his pain to just seep away into the darkness.

His life was too confusing. Did he love Hermione or didn't he? Were all his emotions really weak? All he grew to believe, had it all just been lies?

He knew that killing Hermione would be the only way to prove to his father that he was not weak. That he could be strong and do what needed to be done to save his life.

But, what did he really want? To prove that he was not weak to his father, or prove his love for Hermione?

He didn't really even know if he loved or not, but the thought of betraying her was terrible. Would he die inside, or risk being killed by Voldemort physically for not doing what he was ordered?

"Oh it would be wrong to kill Hermione." Draco whispered to himself, "but I don't see a way out of it."

He looked down at his hands in sadness, "Maybe I do love her, but do I love her enough to die for her?" He still didn't know. Love was something he just couldn't understand like he used to. He'd already betrayed her once, and didn't want to do it again.

'_Killing her though,'_ he thought, _'Would be the ultimate act of betrayal.' _


	7. The Vision

**AUTHOR NOTE**: I'm really sorry about the lengthy update; I've just been so busy with school that I hadn't really had the time to post another update. Well, anyways, I hope you'll like the chapter, R&R!

Chapter 7

The Vision

Draco closed his eyes, allowing the wind to flow through him; he felt it coursing through all his hurt and grief.

Looking up at the dark foreboding sky, he felt a tiny trickle on his face, which soon resulted in a flood of chilling rain pouring down on him. He blinked his eyes several times, and let it soothe his parched mouth.

This moment was elusive; indescribable.

"Oh, Hermione," he whispered to the nothingness, "I'm so sorry, for everything."

A tear slid down his sodden face, joining with the rain. Draco's heart seemed to be motionless within his chest and his breathing vacant.

His body was drenched with the chill of the downpour, making his shirt stick like a second skin; and his hair was fixed to his forehead and sides of his face.

Then, slowly he stood, while shivering fiercely. '_Am I Mad_?' he thought bitterly, '_sitting out here in the rain like this?' _For some reason though, the chill of the storm calmed him; it seemed to numb his pain.

Draco shook his head, turned, then walked into his bed chamber. He was drenched and trembling, holding himself to maintain some warmth. He hadn't noticed how cold he had actually gotten till he had entered the room; but he had always been cold, cold within his soul.

He looked to the fireplace in one of the corners of his room and saw that only a single ember remained aglow. The room itself was bitterly cold and empty; darkness filled the silence.

Draco sat on his bed and folded his hands firmly out in front of him; he sighed deeply, knowing that tonight would be another of little or no sleep. How long could he go on like this? The day that he would have to betray Hermione was near, now only two days. The more he thought about it, the emptier and colder he felt; he could not explain it.

"How do I get out of this?" He asked himself. "What do I do?"

Nothing gave him any hope of escape.

Presently, the young Malfoy stood and began to pace the room uneasily; his breath was rapid and painful; his heart seemed shattered, and a sick feeling engulfed his senses.

He felt a weak feeling coming over him, and then…

…All was black…

Draco Malfoy stood unsteadily on his feet. Once he had caught his balance, he noticed that his door stood ajar. Then, cautiously peering out he noticed that none of the candles in the hall were lit; it was unusual, and something about it greatly unnerved him.

He reached for one of the candles on his desk, and then exceedingly guardedly took the first step out of the refuge of his room.

He had only gone a few steps down the ominous corridor, when he noticed that one of the doors across from where he stood was wide open. He swallowed; that door had always been locked before. It was one of the few, in which his father had told him never to enter.

Looking from right-to-left, Draco advanced a few steps towards the mysterious door. He reached out and pushed it open gently, as it released a menacing creak.

Then, raising the candle, he noticed an old set of winding stairs. His eyes widened and he hesitated for several agonizing minutes, before entering the room, and taking the first step up the stairs. The wood creaked beneath his feet, as he boldly took the next few steps, clutching the dusty handrail with one hand, while holding the candle in the other.

Draco swallowed nervously as his body began to tremble; he had no idea what could be hidden in the darkness. He took several deep breaths to calm himself.

"Oh don't be ridiculous." He scolded himself.

He took the last couple of steps, and sighed uneasily when he reached a rather dimly lit hallway.

Draco glanced behind him, to make sure he wasn't being followed, then turned his attention to the hall.

With cautious eyes and guarded steps, Draco walked slowly down the hall as the torches placed on the walls, flickered across his face, revealing his tense features; the only thing that made him not turn and run, was his curiosity. The curiosity his mother always assumed would be the death of him; he was beginning to believe her.

Draco stopped when he reached an old wooden door, which was covered in dust and cobwebs. He wiped away all of its mucky contents and then timidly grasped the metal latch.

Closing his eyes a moment, in an attempt to calm his pounding heart, Draco tried to shake off all feelings of dread or anxiety.

He slowly lifted the rusty latch, and pushed open the heavy door, which emitted a loud, drawn-out creak.

Then, upon stepping into the room, his eyes widened as he saw what was contained inside.

In one corner was a small lit fire, and in the other was a wall of pictures, all of his ancestors. Standing in the middle of the room was a rather elegantly dressed girl, with her back turned to him.

Draco set down the candle he was holding on a nearby desk, and then silently approached the young child.

"Who are you?" he asked.

She turned and his mouth parted as he saw that it was Hermione Granger; it was Hermione Granger from when he used to know her, when they were kids.

"How is this possible?" he whispered in an unsteady voice.

She smiled and touched his hand, "You're dreaming Draco."

"You mean this is all a dream?" he asked, waving his hand across the room.

The apparition of Hermione nodded, "Yes."

"What is the purpose of this dream?"

Hermione walked over to the fireplace and motioned for him to follow her, "I need to show you something."

Draco looked at her quizzically then walked over to her.

As he stood beside her, the girl Hermione waved her hand over the fire and suddenly an image appeared inside.

"Look, Draco."

Draco looked at her warily before peering into the fire to see what was contained there.

His eyed widened as the fiery image of Hermione Granger appeared; she was sitting in the dungeons crying; her entire body shook, and she was grasping the bracelet tightly.

"This is the present, Draco." The young Hermione said to him.

Draco nodded and swallowed uncomfortably, "I've made her feel this way," he ran hand through his hair, "it's all my fault."

Hermione only nodded and then swept her hand over the fire a second time, causing the image to change.

"I'm going to warn you of this one, you will not like what you see." She cautioned him in a grave whisper.

Draco looked at her with question in his eyes, but, nonetheless looked into the fire.

There was a figure in a dark cloak, with a wand in his right hand. All around were innocent muggle victims; woman, children included. Then all the sudden the figure waved his wand and killed every one of them; the figure smirked and turned to walk away.

Draco narrowed his eyes to see the image clearer. Screams could be heard from a burning city. The figure would only smirk as each helpless person died at his hands. One pleaded for their life, but he took no heed and killed them instantly.

Draco shook his head and swallowed hard. "This is awful, who could do something like this?" He turned to look down at Hermione, "who did this?"

She sadly looked up at him after returning the fire to normal. "It hasn't happened yet. What you just saw was the future."

Draco blinked back the tears forming in his eyes, the sounds of the screams still ringing through his mind, "who?"

Hermione sighed as a tear slipped down her young face, "I'm sorry, Draco. But, the figure you just saw…it's you."

Draco's eyes instantly widened, "What? I-It couldn't be."

Hermione shook her head, "After you killed me, your guilt was so great that you fell into despair and darkness. Your soul died along with me."

Draco lowered his faltering gaze to the floor beneath him, "I-I can't believe it." His eyes were beginning to glaze with unshed tears as he looked at the girl, "Is there any way I can change this future?"

Hermione only nodded then once again, everything went black…but, as he faded he heard the faint words of her answer, "love me, Draco."

……………………………….

Draco awoke with a sudden start. His breathing uncontrolled and rapid; sweat poured from his forehead, making his wet hair stick to his skin.

He blinked several times and found that he was still on the floor of his room. He swallowed as he suddenly remembered his dream.

He got up slowly and stood on his trembling legs, he steadied himself. Should he believe the dream? Somehow, he got the feeling that it was not just a dream.

"It was a vision of the future." He breathed.

"_Love me, Draco." _These words came rushing back to his mind.

He shook his head slowly, "how." He sighed miserably, "I wish I could, Hermione."


	8. Pendulum

Falling Tears

Chapter VIII

Pendulum

_Ding…._

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

Chimes resounded in an eerie chorus of blackened mockery. Several more followed, and, upon the last, Draco Malfoy woke from his slumber with a violent jolt.

The events from the previous night slowly began to return into the wearied chambers of the young Malfoy's mind, and he winced as he thought of those last haunting words of a departing voice_…"love me, Draco."_

He let his head fall into his palms and he grimaced as the voice repeatedly beckoned to the cold heart within his chest.

"_Love me."_

"_Love me."_

"_Love me."_

Draco stood and suppressed the urge to scream. Was he going insane? Was all the pressure too much for his soul to handle?

He pounded a fist against the wall behind him, and then fell to the floor on his knees.

He wrapped his arms around his quivering torso as another agonizing thought invaded the vulnerable territory of his thoughts.

"Mother." He whispered as a new set of tears filled his eyes. "I wish you were here."

He sobbed and lay upon the cold surface of the stone beneath where he had knelt.

How he missed her. How he longed to feel her warm embrace around him.

She was gone though; gone forever. She had left him all alone in this world, selfishly taking her own life and leaving him to the wrath of his father.

How could she have done that? Had she not enough love for her only son to live and stand beside him?

"Why?" he whimpered as he slowly raised his body from the ground. "WHY?!!!"

He screamed to the silence that constantly encroached him, and he shook his head as the resounding echo reached his ears.

"Can you hear me?" he asked, eyes lifted heavenward. "Did you not care what became of me?"

The tears fell in torrents down his pained features. "Did you not love me enough to stay with me?"

He roughly wiped the tears from his face. "I WON'T SHED ANY MORE TEARS FOR YOU!"

He angrily stood and turned, leaving the emptiness of his room and slamming the door behind him.

Once out of his previous confinement he shoved all memories of his mother from his mind, not wanting those thoughts added to the burden already shadowing over him.

It was then, as he concentrated on restoring his breathing to its natural flow, that he heard a blood-curdling scream that brought his heart to a halt, and his blood to freeze beneath his skin.

Another scream followed, and then another.

Draco legs seemed to move at their own accord as Draco suddenly found himself running down the many staircases, toward the dungeon; toward the source of all his agony.

Upon reaching the lower levels, Draco yanked open the dungeons double doors, and then, a tad more cautious, he peered into Hermione's cell.

His breath stopped as his fears were confirmed. There, within the prison, stood his father, towering over a cowering figure in the corner.

His chest constricted and his face paled as he saw his father lifting his wand over Hermione.

"CRUCIO!"

The words rang throughout Draco's being and his fists tightened. What could he do?

He was stranded, and numb. He longed to rush in and help her but fear rendered him immobile.

Hermione's bitter agony rang throughout the cell in screams of uttermost pain.

Draco winced and the tears rolled down his face as he watched her body thrash and writhe.

His fingers encircled the giant brass knob of her cellar door, and the battle within his mind was churning and growing in momentum.

His father finally lifted the curse but then stooped and yanked Hermione to her feet.

"Where is Potter hiding?" Lucius hissed.

Hermione shook her head, defiance taking her features. Draco grew ashamed as he saw that not a single hint of fear possessed her. She was so much stronger than he was.

"WHERE?!"

Hermione's whisper came out in a broken monotone, but the resilience behind her voice was clear.

"I will never tell you. Torture me all you will, but nothing will drive me to betray my friends."

Lucius' sneering smile was so cold it would send shivers down one's spine.

He pointed his wand to her forehead and then muttered the curse that would allow him to infiltrate the secrets of her mind.

Hermione closed her eyes and deep concentration took her visage.

Lucius' confidence slowly began to break and his mouth parted in anger. "_Occlumency?!_ How do you know occlumency?"

Hermione smiled slightly. "I taught myself."

"Impossible." Lucius spat, "Mudblood's can't learn such advanced forms of magic."

"Well," Hermione shrugged, "obviously they can."

Without another word Lucius threw her to the ground, and Hermione braced herself for the pain that was sure to follow.

However, Lucius did not utter the cruciatus, but, rather lifted his wand to perform a different curse.

Draco's eyes widened and he, pushing back his fear, burst into the cell just as his father had began to utter the words, "Sectumse-"

"No!" Draco snatched the wand from his father's grasp. Only after he had done so, did the fear return as his father turned on him in a rage.

Hermione lifted her head, but the dark misery within her eyes did not fade at the sight of Draco.

"What are you doing, boy?" Lucius demanded. "how dare you intervene in my affairs!"

Draco glared, "That curse might have killed her!"

Lucius snatched his wand back and then slapped his son across the face.

Draco clutched where he had been struck and slowly began to back way from his father.

"I know the counter-curse," Lucius stated. "she was only going to bleed for a few seconds." He looked down at the girl beneath him. "Just enough time for the pain to set in."

Draco couldn't believe how disgusted he was at hearing his father say this, and, somewhere, waiting in the back of his mind, were words he wanted to scream at his father, but suppressed out of fear. He internally cringed, how much of a coward was he?

Lucius sauntered towards his son. "Now, get out! Before I begin to curse you as well!"

Draco shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. "Why do you torture her like this?" he whispered weakly. "Is killing never enough for you?"

Lucius barked a laugh. "Killing? Killing is mercy. It is what comes after torture, when they begin to beg for death. Only then, do you grant it to them."

Draco lowered his gaze to Hermione's figure, helpless and broken upon the stone. Her eyes met his and he saw the pain, the strength, the beauty within them.

He felt a pull on his heart. Was it pity?

He mouthed the words, "I'm sorry."

Hermione only shook her head at these silent words, and stared into Draco's eyes emotionlessly.

"Draco!"

Draco's momentary distraction ceased and he looked back up to his father.

Lucius extended his wand towards his son. "Give her pain."

Draco's eyes widened, and he backed away.

"Give her pain." his father repeated.

Draco's mouth formed into a hard line. "No." he stated firmly.

"What was that?"

Draco flinched at the harsh edge in his father's voice.

"Coward." Lucius hissed., and then turned away from his son and looked down at Hermione. "Even she is stronger than you are. A Mudblood is stronger than a Malfoy." he shook his head bitterly, "How disgraceful.'

However, Draco didn't feel disgrace, but pride. Hermione had surpassed him, for once he didn't care. Their characters would never compare.

'_You are a far better person than I ever could be, Hermione._' he thought.

With one last glance into Hermione's amber gaze, he turned and rushed from the room, his head lowered in defeat.

At the sound of more screams, Draco broke into a run. He felt a horrible sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as he ventured farther and farther way from Hermione's cell.

There was nothing he could do to help her; his father could not be stopped.

Even if he decided against killing her when his two days were up, his father would certainly finish the job. _'After I'm dead.' _Draco thought with a shudder.

Hermione's agonized cries followed him until he reached his bed chamber, where he slammed the door closed and leant back against it for support.

If he had stayed and tried to help her, then his father's wrath would only ignite all the more and she would be subject to more pain than she was already being put through.

Draco's hands constricted into fists; the hatred he felt towards his father was nearly unbearable.

Draco let his face fall into his trembling hands and he sobbed relentlessly, as he thought of Hermione's gaze within his own. He had seen her entire character within her eyes; he admired her for everything she was.

'_If I had anything to offer you_,' he thought, '_I would give you everything._'

He slid to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest then lifted his face to stare through the open window of his room.

The cold morning breeze swept through and its chill soothed his being.

He saw the grey of the fading night begin to bleed away, leaving a trail of beautiful gold, crimson and amethyst hues.

'_If I could love, I would love you with all of my heart.'_

He sighed and allowed the thought of her to fill his mind; he thought not of her pain but of her beauty, her laughter, her strength, her stubborn defiance.

He smiled slightly, and merely a single tear fell from his eyes.

"I could try," he whispered. "I know not what love may be but-" he cut himself off and closed his eyes, picturing her gaze in his memory. "I would spend the rest my life trying to find out with you by my side."

He smiled wider, "you could show me."

A small flicker of an ember began to glow within his heart. A hope was ignited by his reverie before radiant morning's brilliance.

And for a moment, his depression had ceased and he was lost in blissful memories with the girl he longed to love.

_Ding…._

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

…_Ding…_

Draco's thoughts ended abruptly, and he looked up, eyes wide. The pain came back in a torrent and he felt the gloom enshroud him once more.

The chime of time reminded him that he was another hour closer to the choice he would still have to make.

Hermione's life was forfeit no matter the path he chose. He would never get the chance to rediscover love.

Draco's hope vanished at each tick of the clock.

_..Ding.._

He was at the torture of mighty pendulum's hand. Every moment that passed was another step closer to that dreaded day.

Either way, both he and Hermione would loose. The Pendulum had no mercy.

The thought of Hermione's writhing body filled his mind and the sound of her screams rang through his ears.

He stood and rushed towards his beside table. After a moment's hesitation, Draco grabbed the picture of his father.

…_Ding…_

He stared into the cold stone of Lucius Malfoy's gaze, and the choice arose anew within his mind.

To kill and live to lose his soul. Or to die and prove something to himself, his father, Hermione.

A new resolve suddenly flowed into his mind, and he didn't know where it had formed, but his choice was suddenly clear.

A coward? His father thought him a coward? Dying for something that was worth dying for would be the ultimatge act of courage.

Hermione was worth dying for. Draco sighed and reveled in the truth his thoughts had brought. Mercy, love, compassion, pity, they were not weak. They were the most noble and honorable of all.

'_Hermione dies either way, I could never live with killing her.'_

_ ...Ding..._

Afraid as he was of death, he was even more afraid to surrender his soul. He would loose Hermione, but he didn't have to loose her completely.

'_She deserves a happy ending to her life' _He thought. _'I will not throw her love away, as my father has done to me.'_

"I don't think I will ever be able to love you, Hermione, but, I know now that I'm much too fond of you to end your life." _'It would destroy me.'_

He then gritted his teeth together and threw the likeness of his father to the ground, ultimately throwing away that path of his future.

"I WILL NEVER BECOME YOU!"

…_Ding_


	9. Let Me Fall

-1Falling Tears

Chapter IX

Let Me Fall

Draco silently crept from his bedroom chamber, hours after the even of Hermione's torture.

He didn't know why he even bothered, but he needed to know if she was alright.

Cautiously, guardedly, he walked towards the dungeon, wary of any sign of his father; he could not risk being seen.

Holding his breath Draco kept to the darker shadows along the walls as he slowly descended the many stories. The air was growing notably colder and Draco could sense the ghosts of Hermione's screams within the air.

As he reached her cellar door, for the second time that morning, he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the sight of her mangled form.

He pushed open it open, and softly stepped into the prison of the Gryffindor's confinement.

Draco opened his eyes slowly and looked down to see Hermione Granger's figure lying upon the stone, her clothes torn and her hair in a disarray.

Her breathing appeared labored, and Draco suddenly wondered how far his father had taken the torture. Had it been enough to break her mind as well as her body?

With slight hesitation, Draco walked towards her and then knelt beside her trembling body.

His lips parted as he saw the bruises on her shoulders and the revealed portions of her back. His breath caught as he then saw the tight grasp of her hands around the bracelet he had given her.

Slowly, carefully, he reached out and placed a hand upon the back of her neck.

Suddenly, Hermione turned, eyes wide, her body defensive. When she saw that it was only he, Draco Malfoy, she relaxed slightly but retained her rigid form.

Draco winced as he saw the pain still within her eyes, and he reached out his other hand to brush away the hair from her face.

Hermione cringed from his touch, "Don't touch me." she hissed.

Draco withdrew his hand immediately, and then continued to stare into her spiritless gaze.

"Hermione," he whispered gently, "what did he do to you?"

"What would you care?" Hermione muttered emotionlessly, her voice parched from the all the screaming she had emitted.

Draco felt a pull within his soul at these words. "There was nothing I could do for you."

Hermione shook her head, a sad smile forming on her lips. "You wouldn't have helped me even if you could."

Draco read the utter bitterness within her eyes; the very same bitterness that had been present in his mother.

"Hermione, I do care." Draco reached forward and touched her face, not pulling away when she flinched. "I want to help you."

Hermione then quickly stood, "Don't lie to me!" However, her legs were far too weak from all her writhing that she could not support her own weight.

Draco quickly rushed to her side and caught her within his arms as her feet collapsed from beneath her.

Hermione's eyes closed briefly, but they fluttered open after a few moments.

Draco felt a stab in the back of his throat as he slowly knelt on one knee, while still holding this broken woman within his arms.

The contrast between the look in her eyes before he had left the cell was agonizing compared to the listlessness and helplessness he now beheld.

She lie limply in the support of his arms and her vulnerability was nearly too much for Draco to bear.

He couldn't believe how fragile she now was after seeing nothing but strength within this girl all of his life.

"Let me go, Draco." Hermione begged, tears forming within her eyes, "Let me fall."

Draco shook his head slowly as he gazed down upon her shattered visage. "Hermione I-" he began in a strained voice.

He was cut off, however, when Hermione reached up a feeble hand and touched Draco's face; The tears falling down her features. "Please," she whispered, "please don't say any kind words. I know that you will never mean them."

Draco felt his heart break at her words and he reached up a hand and wiped her tears away gently.

She swept his hand away with her own, "stop it."

Draco's expression was pained as he withdrew his touch unwillingly. "Hermione, please listen."

Hermione sighed, "Listen? To what? More lies?"

Draco shook his head, the weight of all his guilt and misery falling over him. "I-" he closed his eyes, willing the tears away. "I'm so sorry."

Hermione remained silent and he continued, his eyes beseeching hers.

"I'm sorry for everything. For every word that has hurt you, for every look of hate, every promise I broke."

Draco touched the bracelet upon her wrist, his eyes filling within sadness and remorse. "I want to save you, Mione. I want to have you live to see the sun again."

He breathed in a wavering breath. "I don't expect you to believe me, but-" he then looked into her eyes, intensely and deeply, "if I could love anyone, I would love you, Hermione Granger. If I knew how to love someone, you would be the one I would give my heart too."

Hermione's heart accelerated as she heard these whispered words, and she saw no false meaning behind Draco's gaze.

"If-" Draco shook his head sadly, "If I were not afraid to love you; afraid to hurt you I would-" He lost all words as he saw Hermione's eyes glow and glisten with a dormant happiness.

She still loved him; she still loved him through all the pain he had inflicted upon her heart.

"Draco," she muttered, tears returning. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

Draco's breath caught. "What?"

Hermione smiled. "I love you, Draco Malfoy. I always have." Her voice broke upon the last word and she clutched the bracelet tighter.

Despite how unworthy he was to hear these words uttered from her lips, Draco felt an overwhelming swell of warmth, radiating throughout his entire being.

A fire ignited within his heart, melting all the ice that had previously encased it; all resentment that had built over the years towards this woman had vanished the instant these words reached his ears.

He reached up and touched her face once more, she did not pull away, but closed her eyes as the tears continued to fall.

Draco heard the weariness of her breaths and he smiled down at her gently. "Sleep, Hermione."

Hermione looked up at him with fear in her eyes, "he might come back, he threatened he would. Draco I-" she shuddered, "I don't know how much more I can take."

Draco pressed a finger to her lips, "He won't come back tonight, my father is all empty threats."

Hermione doubted these words but nodded all the same. Silence ensued while they merely stared off into space, pondering over all that had happened and over all they were still going to face.

A sudden question from Hermione brought back the gloom that had temporarily vanished from Draco's feeble soul.

"Are you going to kill me, Malfoy?"

Draco looked back into her eyes, and saw the pain returning into her gaze.

"No." He whispered, and it felt like a stab to his chest as he saw the surprise flicker over her features.

"Y-you're not going to kill me?"

Draco shook his head, "I am not." He closed his eyes, "I could never live with the guilt; with the crime of your blood permanently stained over my soul."

Hermione smiled slightly and then drifted into unconsciousness. Draco watched her fade and then his visage morphed into agony.

"You and I were never meant to love. You and I will never live a life together, Mione."

Draco then closed his eyes and bent down, softly kissing her forehead. "Fall into a world where there is no more pain; no more hate. Slumber in peace, and may the angels of all that is light hold you within their sweet embrace."

He allowed his lips to linger upon her forehead before pulling away and smiling sadly down at her. "I wish I could love you, if even just for a single moment."

Then he gently placed her upon the stone beneath where he had knelt. He stood and, after gazing down upon her sleeping figure, he turned and slowly left the chamber, leaving Hermione to her dreams, the one place she could be safe.

As Draco Malfoy was walking from the dungeons he could not keep the look that had come across Hermione's face from his mind after he had confessed the feelings he longed to feel for her.

The way it had felt to hold her in his arms was also seared into his memory, and Draco felt something within his heart, waiting, begging, to emerge.


End file.
